Went to see my awesome therapist N yestserday. Spilled my guts as usual & got great feedback & advice. So thankful for her. One thing I am learning is to set up boundaries in my life. Something I have NEVER done in my life. I just let people walk all over me & do what they want to me, with me absorbing the impact & stuffing down feelings. Cant do that anymore. Now that I am learning to be healthier I realize I need to set boundaries priority with my parents. Dad is only allowed 10 minutes of suicide talking, whining & whimpering...anymore & I am outta there. He has to pick himself up & MOVe. I love him but I am not going to be his whipping girl & absorb all his negative feelings about his cancer. Sounds mean, but Dad dumps ALL his negativity on me. He speaks about dying & suicide every single time I see him..it takes alot out ya, ya think?!!?
Another one is mom...her & I have a very rocky relationship. Mom is an ostrich, she buries her head & whistles sunshine out her ass. True. However she can be very mean. Very manipulative without even trying. I see it now that I am healthy. She cant control me & she no likey! So she calls me names, like chubby, chunky. She puts down T, she puts down my parenting, she is the queen of guilt trips. Her & I will have a long talk about this. I dont know when..but its gonna happen.
T's ex wife came back into the pic today by FB. She sent me a message, we chatted a bit, T isnt happy. I dont want drama & neither does he. The ex claims she wants none either...not so sure. I friended her just to see some pics of her new baby...after that..I think i am going to de friend. That is the past. She was a horrible wife to T. I am the TRUE wife, in my mind. She was like a replacement for me. No drama = happy relationship.
Feeling overwhlemed with moving & packing up myplace. I have so much STUFF. Just stuff..papers, knickknacks, kitchenware, towels...OH MY. I hate moving. Immensley. Totally. I hate it. But I need to do it if I am ever going to rent this house out. I basically live at T's yet I pay my mort. for this house, I pay cable, phone, water, electric...thats alot of money for a whole lotta nothing. I am hoping by end of Feb. we are all moved in & can concentrate on renting out my house. Oh the money we would save! :-)
Another one is mom...her & I have a very rocky relationship. Mom is an ostrich, she buries her head & whistles sunshine out her ass. True. However she can be very mean. Very manipulative without even trying. I see it now that I am healthy. She cant control me & she no likey! So she calls me names, like chubby, chunky. She puts down T, she puts down my parenting, she is the queen of guilt trips. Her & I will have a long talk about this. I dont know when..but its gonna happen.
T's ex wife came back into the pic today by FB. She sent me a message, we chatted a bit, T isnt happy. I dont want drama & neither does he. The ex claims she wants none either...not so sure. I friended her just to see some pics of her new baby...after that..I think i am going to de friend. That is the past. She was a horrible wife to T. I am the TRUE wife, in my mind. She was like a replacement for me. No drama = happy relationship.
Feeling overwhlemed with moving & packing up myplace. I have so much STUFF. Just stuff..papers, knickknacks, kitchenware, towels...OH MY. I hate moving. Immensley. Totally. I hate it. But I need to do it if I am ever going to rent this house out. I basically live at T's yet I pay my mort. for this house, I pay cable, phone, water, electric...thats alot of money for a whole lotta nothing. I am hoping by end of Feb. we are all moved in & can concentrate on renting out my house. Oh the money we would save! :-)
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