Friday, January 21, 2011


Went to see my awesome therapist N yestserday.  Spilled my guts as usual & got great feedback & advice.  So thankful for her.  One thing I am learning is to set up boundaries in my life.  Something I have NEVER done in my life.  I just let people walk all over me & do what they want to me, with me absorbing the impact & stuffing down feelings.  Cant do that anymore.  Now that I am learning to be healthier I realize I need to set boundaries priority with my parents.  Dad is only allowed 10 minutes of suicide talking, whining & whimpering...anymore & I am outta there.  He has to pick himself up & MOVe.  I love him but I am not going to be his whipping girl & absorb all his negative feelings about his cancer.  Sounds mean, but Dad dumps ALL his negativity on me.  He speaks about dying & suicide every single time I see takes alot out ya, ya think?!!? 
Another one is mom...her & I have a very rocky relationship.  Mom is an ostrich, she buries her head & whistles sunshine out her ass.  True.  However she can be very mean.  Very manipulative without even trying.  I see it now that I am healthy.  She cant control me & she no likey!  So she calls me names, like chubby, chunky.  She puts down T, she puts down my parenting, she is the queen of guilt trips.  Her & I will have a long talk about this.  I dont know when..but its gonna happen.
T's ex wife came back into the pic today by FB.  She sent me a message, we chatted a bit, T isnt happy.  I dont want drama &  neither does he.  The ex claims she wants none either...not so sure.  I friended her just to see some pics of her new baby...after that..I think i am going to de friend.  That is the past.  She was a horrible wife to T.  I am the TRUE wife, in my mind.  She was like a replacement for me.  No drama = happy relationship. 
Feeling overwhlemed with moving & packing up myplace.  I have so much STUFF.  Just stuff..papers, knickknacks, kitchenware, towels...OH MY.  I hate moving.  Immensley.  Totally.  I hate it.  But I need to do it if I am ever going to rent this house out.  I basically live at T's yet I pay my mort. for this house,  I pay cable, phone, water, electric...thats alot of money for a whole lotta nothing.  I am hoping by end of Feb. we are all moved in & can concentrate on renting out my house.  Oh the money we would save!  :-) 

No comments:

Post a Comment