Monday, January 17, 2011

tangled thoughts

thats how i have been feeling last few days.  my thoughts are all jumbled up, i am dsorganized feeling & feel myself falling into a depression.  its been this way since i started back up on the cymbalta..started it 2 weeks ago today to 30 mg then upped a few days ago to 60mg.  since doing so i have noticed i have no energy at all, i am feeling overwhelmed by my kids, by tony, by doing stuff.  i feel guilty all the time with the kids.  i am sweating buckets at the drop ofa embarrasing.  i took the girls to the mall today & let b & S walk the mall alone while I stayed with littleones, well i sweated thru my shirt, my face was dripping sweat.  it was crazy.  i was so mortified.  it makes the depression worse.  i know a side effect of cymbalta is excessing sweating.  not to mention insomnia..wich i have now too.  i have resorted to taking 1/2 an ambien at nite to help me sleep.  i am lucky if i get 5 hours a nite.  not to mention that my ic is really bad last few weeks, i am relying heavily on pain meds.  i hate that.  i hate feeling how i feel. 
i wish i could pull myself out of this slump, feels like i been in it forever.  i am sick of being sick & tired.  i just dontknow what to do anymore, i want to hide in bed & pull the covers over me honestly.  SHIT SHIT SHIT.

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